"i don't exactly hate being white. i don't talk about this often because i don't want to be appropriative or anything but i think it would be nice to not be white because i have always had trouble liking the features my heritage has given me, and i think other features typical of other races and even regionally are much more beautiful. i definitely hold a grudge against other white people and i too assume they're bigoted until they prove otherwise because i've just met so many who are and the "benefit of the doubt" has blown up in my face so many times. i don't get mad at people for thinking that of me though. i think it just kind of comes with the territory of privilege and if it doesn't apply to me then i shouldn't be mad about it and i'll just keep being me." ~AH
Of course I've found out people were racists all of a sudden. But this doesn't happen to me too often. I've been on this planet a long time. And I've been black in the United States for all of it.
My awareness is pretty good most days. There are usually what I call "iceberg comments" before you get too deep into a relationship with a person. These comments on the top of the water give you very good idea of what's going on beneath the surface. And you can step away.
So I don't get surprised by racism too often.
But I never thought about what it must be like to be white, be relatively unaware of white privilege and unaware of yourself as raced-person TOO, then have something like Trayvon Martin or Renisha McBride happen. AND THEN listen to close relatives, friends, and co-workers start spewing racism...that you never knew was there.
It's one thing for this to happen to a black person. Nothing about it is shocking. Or it shouldn't be. It's just like disappointment----again and again and again.
But it has to be a nastiest of shocks when racism explodes WITHIN somebody close to you and comes out. And then you start looking around and seeing the subtler signs of it in an ever widening circle around you.
There's a lot to unpack here.
Read More in Part 2: "White Studies"
My awareness is pretty good most days. There are usually what I call "iceberg comments" before you get too deep into a relationship with a person. These comments on the top of the water give you very good idea of what's going on beneath the surface. And you can step away.
So I don't get surprised by racism too often.
But I never thought about what it must be like to be white, be relatively unaware of white privilege and unaware of yourself as raced-person TOO, then have something like Trayvon Martin or Renisha McBride happen. AND THEN listen to close relatives, friends, and co-workers start spewing racism...that you never knew was there.
It's one thing for this to happen to a black person. Nothing about it is shocking. Or it shouldn't be. It's just like disappointment----again and again and again.
But it has to be a nastiest of shocks when racism explodes WITHIN somebody close to you and comes out. And then you start looking around and seeing the subtler signs of it in an ever widening circle around you.
There's a lot to unpack here.
Read More in Part 2: "White Studies"
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