"Because race is no more than a construction, wanting to experience love with another Black person stems not from skin color, but from a resistance to the belief that what is non-white is unworthy of love. I have always been able to find men of every race physically beautiful.
Certainly, though, I have a preference for culture
that resists White Supremacy, and by definition that is not a culture that most white people (and, admittedly, most people of color as well) know fully.
Most importantly, I envision myself in a relationship where home is as safe a space as it can be, and where a mutual love of our struggle is what keeps us safe. In a world where pro-Blackness is constantly questioned to the point of exhaustion, if not attacked outright, I know I cannot always be educating my partner about racial injustices and retain my emotional stability.
In fact, sometimes I will need him to educate me...
CHOOSING BLACK LOVE: WHY I'M UNLIKELY
TO SPEND MY LIFE WITH A WHITE PERSON
by Hari Ziyad
at BLACK GIRL DANGEROUS
Read More - http://www.blackgirldangerous.org/2015/03/choosing-black-love-why-im-unlikely-to-spend-my-life-with-a-white-person/
This is probably the best piece I've read on the likelihood, and only the likelihood, of an individual choosing in favor of safety and understanding using race as a guide, when choosing a mate...rather than against someone based on something as simple skin-color difference.
Most of us know by now that race isn't simply skin-color or ethnicity. And we know it isn't genetics either. Race is a social construct. A lot of us know that too. But some think "social construct" is less real than other bases of difference. But the social construct of race is very, very real in that it has real impact....on the education you're likely to receive, income, poverty, affluence, and going to jail for things the dominant white culture can just laugh off.*
The social construct of race, in this country, includes the presence and absence of white supremacy. The lack of awareness of that white supremacy, the embracing of that supremacy as "normal," the use of it unconsciously --at least as unconscious as our lungs using oxygen minute to minute in order to keep our bodies alive-- matters to some more than others when choosing a life partner.
In other words, some people of color find it impossible to be with someone who can't see, hear, and smell the obvious because it seems so normal to that someone. I've noticed, with white women in particular, that the awareness leaps into their consciousness the second they give birth to a dark-skinned child. This tells me that when somebody you care about is at risk? You'll sit up and take notice by choice.
All this ought to be understandable --when explained-- to anyone who decides to be identified as "anti-racist" but that's not always so.
"In fact, sometimes I will need him to educate me..."
Ain't that the truth? Ain't that the most important truth?
As black people we hear so much about what "black people are like" from people not-black that we have to repeat to one another our own genuine stories so that we do not forget what's real. All of us may NOT need to be in a same-race or same-ethnicity space in order to hear ourselves think or feel our own feelings, un-judged. But many of us sure might as sh*t need our own spaces for education (HBCUs) and healing (within locations to be specified later) at some point in our individual lifetimes.
Until images must like the one above seem common place to a heck of a lot more of us, all I can say is "I feel ya" to the author of this piece.
By The Way
That #CrimingWhileWhite twitter rage a while back was very
illuminating...even though I've lived in white dominated neighborhoods. Very.
And #CrimingWhileWhite should also demonstrate why white people are needed inside the anti-racism community