MANEATER by Safia Elhillo

He calls me "maneater." 

I study a crack in the wall until it blinks.

He wants me to be sorry for not loving him. 

And I want to be sorry for not loving him 

because good people
are supposed to love other good people 

and he is a good 

and this is the only way to prove my own goodness 

even if loving him just means unpacking all my suitcases 

and making my eyes look like I'm listening.

But I've spent months 

tamping down the sky trapped inside my body. 

Months sitting with my hands in my lap

And for that I say 

I cannot allow myself to believe 

that love is nothing but a reward for good behavior. 

For that I say, 

I don't want to eat you, little boy. 

You are not my brand of firewood.

~Safia Elhillo~