Tuesday, August 30, 2016


Feeling Uber-Rebloggy 


"When we raise girls with higher standards than boys, we cripple boys to remain in an immature state as they become men."

[In a video from TR] she stated something like, "men don't mature as fast as women", as a way to justify coddling her husband and "building him up" as he goes through his never ending stage of immaturity.

Many times the parents raise their sons to buy into this idea that during his early years of adulthood, he has permission to be immature, which in turns cause them to have dysfunctional relationships. We wonder why so many 30-40 year old men are still f*ck boys.

I remember watching Ray J on the many shows over the years and his interactions with women. He is severely coddled by his sister and mother. I sometimes wonder why haven't they straight up told him, "You are a f*ck boy. Get yourself together!". Instead I have seen them sit the girls whom life he was ruining down and try to convince them to tolerate his f*ckery a little while longer.

We constantly fail men (of course speaking directly to those who have direct influence on them since childhood) to buy into the toxic views of masculinity. 

  • "All men cheat". 
  • "Let a dog roam and he'll find his way back home". 
  • "As long as he puts you first, those other women don't matter". 
  • "You have to bring that imaginary 'king' out of him". 

One side we preach immaturity into boys/men and on the other side preach to girls/women it's okay for them to be naive. 

  • "Sometimes you have to go through the bad ones, before you find a good one"
  • "Be the apple 'at the top of the tree" 

[Meanwhile we as black women] pick apples (men) from the bottom [of the tree] 

  • "If you hold him down a little while longer, eventually he will change". 
  • "Although he treats you like shit, at least you have someone to keep your bed warm at night". 

The mess.... Over it.

~ by T. Coleman

File this under black female patriarchy. We're teaching little black girls to grow and shoot themselves, not in the foot but in the face.