LOOKS AREN'T EVERYTHING by A MODEL

TED TALK: Cameron Russell breaks down the images of women. The pictures of her on say,  Monday morning, then another picture of her in a model shot type picture later the same day bring the illusion of what" girls" are "supposed to look like" crashing to the ground. And she touches on a variety of topics important to the socially conscious woman's life.

TOUGH BOY LOVE POETRY: FLACO NAVAJA's "DIMPLE"

DEF POETRY JAM

If you don't grin or smile
Get a little tear in your eye
Your heart might not be alive

MICHELLE OBAMA TELLS THE TRUTH ABOUT RACISM AT TUSKEGEE GRADUATION

I didn't think I'd hear a truth this clear from either one of the Obamas until after they'd been out of the White House for a decade or more.



I couldn't believe it when our FIRST BLACK FIRST LADY MRS. MICHELLE OBAMA started talking about all of the things most black women had guessed she was going through as Barack Obama ran for president the first time. I could see how hemmed in she felt. I could see it. Every time she got anywhere near one syllable of the honesty she's gave out here, she was labeled as militant. (I most definitely remember how I felt when I saw her first magazine cover, that drawing of her in afro, machine, gun, and military helmet. I'll never forget it. Ever.)

She spoke about how she and Barack have been treated. I can't believe she took it ALL THE WAY THERE.

The intro is too long at 6 minutes

This speech starts rolling about 10 minutes in

At 19 minutes Michelle Obama is ON FIRE!!!

And she crushed that Strong Black Women. Crushed her. She came through as a true, shining, and effervescent example for any Black Person, any Black Woman and especially any Christian Black Feminist Mother to look up to. 










I have been looking for that picture she's talking about too. Looking all over

WHITE PARTY Akilah on Cultural Appropriation

WATCH a group of POCs (and their one white friend) throw a "White Party" to demonstrate how crappy cultural appropriation is.

Oprah To Adopt An Inner City High School

...And Other Stars Follow Suite

A MOTHER'S DAY WISH

Imagine it! Imagine if she really did it!  This could become as popular as white stars adopting black babies was there for a minute!  Yes, I know the trend didn't really go very far, last very long, and that the front runners weren't trying to use their children to make a fashion statement. 

But when one person leads other people either start deciding feeling free to follow or choose something along the same lines or something totally different.  Inner city schools need somebody to try something totally different or something totally old - a rich parent.

So when I heard that Stephen Colbert funded every single TEACHER REQUESTED GRANT in South Carolina, my mind traveled back to a conversation I had with my brother about the school that Oprah started for girls in Africa some years back. My brother was upset that Oprah had adopted a school in Africa only, that she hadn't done something similar and similarly visible in the United States http://www.dailykos.com/story/2015/05/07/1383114/-Stephen-Colbert-shocks-South-Carolina-schools-by-funding-every-single-teacher-requesting-grants?detail=facebook_sf
I hadn't actually thought about it that way.  My mind, trained in the ways of white supremacy, knew the reason why Oprah hadn't done something similar for a mostly black, inner city school that desperately needed her help. I knew it without having to bring it into my conscious mind until my brother expressed his resentment.  I knew that Oprah had "Oprah" to think about.


That is, I knew that "Oprah" the television show was completely dependent upon her white audience. And I knew that her white audience to the tune of 30% 40% or 80% despises anything that is aimed very directly at helping black people....in the United States.

In Africa, poor black people are envisioned as primitive, living in mud huts with nothing if not for an American Savior. 

In the U.S., poor black people are looked upon as lazy, stupid people that would have what they need if they were industrious enough to pull themselves up by their bootstraps like the Irish and the Italians did  

 'After all, slavery was a long time ago and 50% racism died the day of Emancipation Proclamation and the other 45% died the day the Voting Rights Act was signed in 1964 The 1/5 of the black population that is below the poverty line that SHOULDN'T be* is there because of an inferior  black culture, that spawns Welfare Queens by the dozens. Giving those people a fish instead of a fishing pole actually hurts those people.'  

Yes, Oprah had "Oprah" to worry about. She absolutely could not afford to hear something parallel to 'Michelle Obama thinks White Girls Don't Rock' or 'Michelle Obama...Racist' rising from a sizable chunk of her predominantly white audience after doing something much bigger than speaking at a "Black Girls Rock" Event. (Look It Up: "Michelle Obama Issues Racist Messages To American White Girls…This Is Unbelievable"- Mr. Conservative)



But in reality,  she could have afforded it. Oprah could have decided to take the hit and let her show go under if it went under. She had enough money to last 15 lifetimes. I know that she likely spends millions and millions and millions on charity. But I would have liked to have seen her spend her power.

And I mean I wanted her to "spend" her power, not "use it" but "spend it" on leading Black Hollywod and then maybe White Hollywood to taking over the care and feeding of one inner city high school for x numbers of years. And by "spend it" I mean use it up, watch it go into something else. For example: If I spend $200 on a pair of shoes, I no longer have the $200. The $200 is gone. I have the pair of shoes instead. I wanted Oprah to have an inner city high school instead of some of her power.


I wanted Denzel Washington to follow suit

I wanted Shonda Rhimes to out do Oprah. 

I wanted Brad and Angelina to be next

I wanted Sandra Bullock, Madonna, and Tom Cruise to...

I wanted to see the care and feeding include alarm systems and school guards around restored buildings full of new computers, new text books, and free supplies.

But maybe Stephen Colbert's way is more realistic. A few stars per state. I wonder what else a few stars per state could do.

But I'm also wondering why the Oprahs and Denzels aren't spending their power now that they can afford for the ride-on-high to be over. Maybe Stephen Colbert's generosity will get people feeling free to follow or choose something along the same lines or something totally different.


(*-black folk poverty should always hover near 10% like white folks poverty. And in a country this rich we should be trying to lower both to zero)

CINDERELLA 2015: All The Diversity Of A Klan Meeting

Well, there may be some black or brown people in this flick. But the trailer had all the diversity of a klan meeting for sure --which tends to mean all the main characters are will be white.

Exhibit A

CAST OF CINDERELLA 2015

Cinderella is probably the worst story to read a girl if you want to raise a future feminist. But the story can, and has been, adjusted to fit a woman of brains, character, and action in the past. And I hope this Cinderella is a little better than old-Cinderella as well.

But think about all-white fairy tales in general. Fictional characters. Inclusion would be easy. Inclusion is rarely a goal of white producers.  And sometimes I wonder if anti-diversity is the goal of  some white producers. You may not remember but one of the few (if not THE ONLY) black female characters to grace the screen during the first season of ABC's  "Once Upon A Time," was Cindi's Fairy God Mother. And she was killed off in less than 20 seconds. (Not even kidding. See video below)

So, what is a black mother to do?

Do you skip all the fairy tales brought to life on the big screen?

Do you stick with reading the story to your child so she can stick herself in the story as she sees fit?

Do you take your girl child to see in the theater to see a film populated with 100% white girls then get home and say "black girls are pretty too" AS IF your words going to leave more of an impact on her heart and psyche than one and one-half hours of white female beauty driving all the action in a storyline that just left her giddy with thoughts of happily-ever-after?


And why the hell do we still have to talk about this in 2015?

"This isn’t an indictment on the soundness of the film — it might be very good — but I’m less than excited because I don’t care about films that show a world without my family in it. I dedicate my time to family movies that dedicated theirs to consider the messages they send to children, and include inclusiveness and beauty, because yes, they’re that important. If you want to see a classic Cinderella with little sign of modernity or progressiveness, this one’s for you. But if you want your children to see the world through a prism of identities, shapes, sizes, and abilities to be represented and celebrated, this may not be the movie for yours"

-BLACK NERD PROBLEMS

http://blacknerdproblems.com/site/cinderella-2015-and-how-people-of-color-were-uninvited-to-the-ball/

Yes, I think first about how these things affect little black girls. But we need to think more about how all white movies (e-race-sure) affect white children too. And sometimes I'm not sure it doesn't affect them even more.

Some white children, either not used to seeing black and brown people at all in real life or fictional spaces will become fearful adults, some of whom become judges. Some white children never seeing, hearing or thinking of black and brown people as heroes rather than zeroes (contained in stereotypes that wash over them day in and day out without notice) will become policeman. And still other white children never seeing, hearing, or thinking of anybody but white people as heroes will grow up to be people who write textbooks for grade schools.

But what is the absolute worst thing to realize is that e-race-sure can result in black children thinking all of the very same things that white children do...only they'll be thinking it about themselves.


Changing our fiction, changing the way our stories look and feel, changing the stories we tell ourselves is part of anti-racism too. And it is not a small, insignificant part either. Repetitive messages about the heroes and zeroes are being transmitted there. Taking black and especially white children to these all white movies have had lasting effect on all of us precisely because they seem insignificant and beneath our notice.

Nearly subliminal?

I don't think these effects are necessarily limited to children either. That's why I've gotten to the point that I refuse to watch  movies and shows with a  large ensemble cast, where to 1/3 down to 1/4 isn't made up of non-white characters -- just like the United States. I don't want these all white TV shows and movies to survive, so I don't give any oxygen.

Not always easy. I have made exceptions for family dramas in particular. But I have to admit that this was a pretty easy call with "Once Upon A Time" As agency-diminishing as "Cinderella" was, femnistingly speaking, it was one of my all time favorite fairy tales as a kid.  But watching one and only person that looks like me come and go in 20 seconds as Cinderella's Fairy God Mother ticked me off  rather permanently. I can't imagine what I would have said if I had a 5 year old black girl sitting next to me when that happened.






I was a little surprised and disappointed to see that Kenneth Branagh* directed Cinderella 2015. He was at the forefront of race-less(?) casting a while back. I mean, he cast Denzel Washington and Keanu Reeves as brothers sans any explanation at all. I think he did this kind of thing more than once, too.

Frankly, race-less casting felt a little weird. But I was hoping it would catch on anyway. After all, a whole bunch of fictional stuff I saw in reruns of "Lost in Space" and "Star Trek" wind up becoming our reality in the form of minivans, video conferencing, and cell phones. Why not put the idea of better racial relations out there in the fictional atmosphere too? 

Of course, there need to be some real depictions of the real race friction, especially since white people are raised to be ignorant about their own racial identity and the racial identity of others. No racial reality in fiction?  No acknowledgment of the race hurdles in fiction? Then no progress in real life either, right? But I think race-less casting has its place in the mix.


Bottom Line: I'm really tired of these huge, all white ensemble casts in the movies and television and the attitudes they reproduce in our culture.  And, I hope you are too.

In the meantime, take your little black, brown, and white girls to see Keke Palmer play Cinderella on Broadway if you live in New York. If not, let's hope for something new. Let's hope for black, fairy-tale, battle princesses that get sh*t done then later fall in love with a prince a heck of a lot more going on than appreciation for her beauty. 

KEKE PALMER PLAYING CINDERELLA ON BROADWAY IN 2014

*=Does this mean Branagh's anti-racism via "colorblindness" was a fad he tired of? No acknowledgement of hurdles. No progress. 

I-I-I HEEEAAARD THAT!!! Obsessed With Racism

RICKY HINDS on BLACK MALE COPYCAT OPPRESSION

 
FROM RICKY HINDS
TO BLACK MEN
@AMERICANS UNITED AGAIN

"Cut the sh*t.

You can get rid of this social conditioning. Read some books, actually LISTEN to the people you're helping oppress, I mean f*** Google will teach you all you need to know if you're really interested. Within this movement you have options, you have freedom, you have the comfort of those who value you so what the f*** is wrong with returning the favor just because it's the right thing to do?




So what brought me to this tirade? Well for one it was WELL overdue because we've been doing this sh** for too long but the straw(s) that broke the camel's back for me were two things that happened this past weekend. The first was something that happened in the St. Louis area. Activist & Blogger Angel Carter so eloquently put it like this:

"Sunday, April 26th there was a rally held in downtown Saint Louis to amplify the names of black women who have been killed and/or raped by police officers. The desire to incorporate black women into the conversation about police brutality, is not an act of division, it’s an act of inclusion. This was the first rally held to centralize black women here in Saint Louis. It has been long overdue. In comparison to past events, the turn out was typical. White allies were in attendance, kids, signs, banners, blow horns, chants, cops, etc. Every thing was as it always is, minus one thing…. There were only six black men present. I wish I was exaggerating this number, but someone even walked around and counted to be sure. Six black men supporting black women. Even the police exceeded the amount of black men, there were approximately eight of them [policemen] standing behind us."

http://www.americansunitedagain.org/blog/2015/4/28/blacklivesmatter-yesniggaallblacklives-black-men-their-obsession-with-mimicking-oppression

Add caption

Hardly anybody showed up for Rekia Boyd protest either.  Dante Servin, her killer, walked away in April 2015 after a directed verdict by a white judge. He said the prosecutors case law proved murder while her charges were "only" manslaughter and reckless blah blah blah. Compared to the ruckus raised for Freddy Gray, Eric Garner, Mike Brown, there were crickets. Half the people I spoke to online about Rekia Boyd hadn't even heard her name before.

Yet,"[a]ccording to the Huffington Post, 'early data indicates black women account for nearly 20% of those unarmed blacks killed by officers in the past 15 years.' " http://mic.com/articles/116102/this-unarmed-black-woman-was-shot-by-the-police-so-why-aren-t-we-marching-for-her

Many people I talk to about this obvious disparity of reaction like to claim "It's the media!  It's the media! It's the media!" Well that's only somewhat true. I think "the media!" picks up on what's important and echoes what the crowd wants to hear.  A lot of times, that's bad for black people in general. But the reason this is bad for black women specifically and over and over again is because black people don't care much. I've seen post after post after post about a single black man dying, within hours of the death.  When a black woman dies, IF I HEAR about it at all, it's weeks or months later. The echo chamber that is the main stream media doesn't have anything to echo.

On black men's sites in particular I've seen picture after picture after picture of black men killed by police, often sans a single black woman killed -- when early data reflects 1/5 of the black people killed are female.

A lot of black men are guilty of the exact same thing that white people are -- ignoring all pain and discomforts except your own. Sexism and racism are different facets of the same dirty diamond.

At least Ricky Hinds noticed. Actually, I'll remove the"at least" part. Hinds got as passionate as he should have about the callous disregard for black women's lives. He got AS passionate about the black disregard for black women's lives as so many are passionate about the white disregard for black lives. The only thing he failed to notice is that black female patriarchy is at play here too. Black women rise up for black men's deaths a lot faster than they do for black female deaths too.


I might start calling Ricky Hinds a BLACK FEMINIST whether he wants to be one or not...just for a week or two. Those who cannot bear the weight of being identified as and binding together with black women that identify as BLACK FEMINIST or BLACK WOMANIST do not deserve the title. Black folk who can't take the heat that comes with the "feminist" or "womanist" identity show up for black women sometimes, much like the white person who refuses the "anti-racist" identity (You know who I'm talking about. That white person disappears once the overt racism stops, when the bullets aimed at the unarmed is reduced...as if institutionalized non-violent racism isn't real too)     

Racism is clobbering the black community, 90% from the outside. But sexism is the beast ripping us to shreds, 90% from the inside. There isn't too much that shows this more clearly than the disregard  shown by the black community for getting justice for Rekia Boyd's  killer, an off duty cop who used an unregistered weapon to shoot over his shoulder, hitting her in the back of her head, over a noise complaint.

This makes me remember that 1960's saying: If we don't hang together we will surely hang separately.  And you can bet on that. Only a fool hangs around in a relationship where there is no reciprocation. In a relationship where there is no reciprocation there is no respect and a love so puny it's not worthy of the name "love."
 

the LONDON STORY by WARSAN SHIRE

Afraid of what love may ask of us

we fill the space with noise and pets,

worship and diets,

black outs and beauty products,

sleeping pills and dinner parties,

porn and apathy.

I hold your hand as we drive throgh the city

towards whatever is beautiful.

 I feel my bad memories dispel 

like puffs of smoke 

one by one...

Click below here to hear more

A PRAGMATIC FAITH IN LOVE

LIVING FOR THE WEEKEND - DADDY AND DAUGHTER

I eavesdrop on a male co-worker. There's no way not to listen, so I listen well when his tone is pleasant.

Sue me.

Nearly every single day, he says to his wife, who I always imagine holding or beaming at their toddler, "Where are you?" or "What are you doing?" And every single day he ends with "You guys have fun."

He is generous and kind. I know this first hand. He trained me. That’s I know he is extremely patient as well. He lives to go home to them at the end of the day and works at the crack of dawn so he can spend time with them while the baby is still awake. I can't imagine a love that sounds like that ending. It seems impossible. When I think of his little starter family, I smile because he seems too mature and balanced to let anything happen to it. Ever.

But then the practical voice cuts in, like a demon on my shoulder. And it says to me:

Can she take care of herself and her child?

Did she get married without getting her degree first?

Did she get herself married then decide to get pregnant before she established herself in a career --in case she needs to go back to it?

Will she ever be at the mercy of some dude who thinks he should have the right to count every nickel she spends on herself because he's paying some paltry sum or a mint in child support once a month that won't cover half of what Junior really needs despite what a court might say?

But my co-worker friend is not "some dude."

He says "What are you guys going to do today" and "Have fun!" almost every day. There's no faking that kind of commitment to another. He works to support his family financially and in every other way.

Other men, literally millions of other men have done this. But what happens to some of these men when they decide they don't love their wife anymore?

What kind of thought process goes on where a man thinks all the money was always his money and that the labor he supplied to the family unit was the only labor that truly counted, a gift that he should be able to take away entirely from his child OR his wife?

What kind of heart process thinks the wife -- that he agreed should be the one to stay home instead of him, the one clearly had the most rewarding job, wasn't doing a job? How does such a heart think that the wife wasn't sacrificing a career and earning potential every single day she was that she was enjoying the day to day, hands on raising of their child?

Can any man turn into the selfish fiend I've described?

I don't believe my co-worker/friend can. I don't believe that particular thing is possible. And, if he eventually calls his wife "a gold-digging harlot" one day, I'll probably believe him because I know him and not her. And because I heard him love her daily as he worked a wage-job so she could have most of the reward of growing their child to adulthood a little bit at a time

But...

Can she take care of herself and her child?

Did she get married without getting her degree first?

Did she get herself married and pregnant before she established herself in a career --in case she needs to go back to it?

Will she be at the mercy of some dude who thinks he should have the right to count every nickel she spends because he's paying some paltry sum or a mint in child support once a month that won't cover half of what Junior REALLY needs despite what a court might say?

How does one raise a child in a world where real love fails and morphs into an unbelievable selfishness half the time?

How is it I still find the love more believable than anything else?

I wonder what he'll say to her tomorrow?

--------------
(For the record, on the rare occasion of bickering, I move away. I'm not that bad...yet?)