Have you ever been with that guy who is overly impressed with his own size?
You know the guy I'm talking about, right? That guy whose hands are useless except for holding his own weight off you or shifting your hips slightly to the left or right. That guy whose mouth and tongue are a big fat zero once the north-side kissing is done?
I've actually gotten so I like a guy with a little less downstairs so long as he's got enough going on upstairs that he tends to make quite a bit more effort to learn me and my body.
In short, I find that over-confidence in size is a high speed freeway to bad-lover-itis syndrome.
The other thing that lands men in bad lover-itis land quick, fast, and in a hurry is sexism and/or patriarchy.
"Orgasm doesn’t have to be the focus of sex, but if a woman wants one, she should have as much of a right to request it as anyone else does.
When people say that women’s bodies are more difficult – and these generalizations typically refer to cis women and are accompanied by rants about how complicated vaginas are – they teach cis women that an orgasm is too tall an order....
The view that cis women are hard to please maintains what sociologists call the orgasm gap, in which men have three orgasms for every one a woman enjoys, and 57% of women orgasm during all or most of their sexual encounters, but 95% say their partners do. "
As this article says/implies over and over again -- men are seen as more important than women in every aspect of life. That this inequality strikes out over and over again in the bedroom doesn't surprise me in the slightest.
I must have come out of the womb a feminist. I tried to deny it for a while, since the black community (foolishly) hates on it so much. But I am one to the core. This has to be why I have always been confused by a man complaining about women not liking sex that much while appearing not to know that he is, in essence, announcing himself as a bad lover.
In shock and awe I have heard these admissions in public from cis men and watched as other bad-lover-itis syndrome sufferers shake their heads in agreement in regards to female lack of interest in having sex with them.
Since I first heard the word "sex" and knew what it meant, I knew that the first point of investigation when a woman doesn't orgasm or enjoy sex in a heterosexual relationship would be to see if the man she's with is a good or bad in bed.
Over-simplistic?
Okay.
There are a few physical ailments that could be the reason a woman doesn't enjoy sex and/or orgasm. But if we're talking about the majority of heterosexual women? I say that the lack of investigation into a man's having bad-lover-itis syndrome has probably deprived millions of heterosexual women of the big "O" This becomes especially clear if you use this quote as a measuring stick:
"Lisa Wade points out, the orgasm gap is conditional. Lesbians report orgasming 74.7% of the time, only 10 percentage points lower than gay men. In addition, women take under four minutes on average to masturbate to orgasm."
More indications that "orgasm inequality is mostly a case of cis men having bad-lover-itis:
"30 percent of men can't find the clitoris on a diagram, " --and when so many women can't climax with penetration alone.
An indication that women's self-worth is way too low in this anti-feminist culture:
"25% of women can't find the clitoris on a diagram," --and when so many women can't climax with penetration alone. <--doesn a="" bad-lover-itis="" body="." font="" for="" her="" know="" own="" searching="" sufferer="" syndrome="">
As a young lass, I think I'd been having sex for two years before I was with a man who had the tool, the hands, and the mouth all going. Prior to him? I adored sex for the closeness and not the thrill because there wasn't a thrill a lot of times.
It hurts me when 40 year old cis women say they can take or leave sex and they always could.. I always wind up thinking, "Wow, you've never had it done right. There are places on your own body that you don't even recognize as erotic zones. You poor thing."
There's all kinds of sexist talk among men about how women will kick a man to the curb for not making enough money (gold digger accusations) etc. I'm waiting for the day when guy talk includes twice as much time whining about how women are kicking them to the curb because they were too elitist and lazy to get the job done in the bedroom.
Original Article link again below
12 Reasons Why There’s Orgasm Inequity (And No, It’s Not That Women Are ‘Harder to Please’)
