SPENDING LIGHT PRIVILEGE WISELY

Dr. Joy DeGruy  (author of "Post-Traumatic Slave Syndrome")

BIG LESSON
IN A SHORT STORY
OF AN ENCOUNTER AT A STORE
WITH HER 10 YR OLD

Dr. Joy DeGruy is a nationally and internationally renowned
researcher, educator, author and presenter. She is an ambassador for
healing and a voice for those who’ve struggled in search of the past,
and continue to struggle through the present. Dr. Joy is the acclaimed
author of Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome —America’s Legacy of Enduring Injury and Healing, Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome: The Study Guide , with a second book in the works , Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome Part 2: Be The Healing.




Dr. Joy is a natural storyteller which makes her a natural teacher

More of her biography on the next page

LIGHT PRIVILEGE, DARK JEALOUSY, AND DENIAL

In a Huffington Post article Kim Lute talks about the pain she feels because she is unable to befriend other black women as a light-skinned black woman. In one of her few frank moments she says:  

"In all fairness, this "mulatto" (which technically I am not) has led a far easier life simply because I lack darkness. "

- - - - - - - -
Light-skinned women are going to have to get just this honest to have a real conversation. But unlike the writer of this article, they are going to have to spend just as much time on how they have the "easier [black] life"  as they do on the jealousy they experience from darker-skinned females. 

However, I'm not sure honest conversation was Lute's objective. I think maybe venting pain was...if I'm feeling generous.

Regardless of what I think of Lute or her click-baity article, I totally get that light-skinned women get the outsider treatment, the jealousy treatment, and being treated as less than black from darker-skinned females. I haven't experience it, but I've seen it. I've seen it happen to people I care about and love. And it hurt me, so I know it hurt them

photo by Jenn Deering Davis

Again, I don't know how it feels. But I've been a witness multiple times. And from what I've seen? The jealousy from the darker-skinned sister is twice as bitter and vicious in childhood.  But I've seen light-skinned girls defended by dark-skinned girl friends when they were attacked in grade school and junior high too.

Overall, though, it seems like being light-skinned preference is virtually no benefit at all when you're a young kid. I also tend to  think the scars left on the light-skinned are there for life.  And those childhood scars lead them  to be quick with the black and brown version of the predominantly white "I'm colorblind!" defense. How many times have I heard "I don't see shade differences" or "We're all black!"  The light fragility sufferer is every bit as shrill as the white person who whispers, practically to themselves, "There's only one race, the human race" over and over again.

It's kinda...well...crazy. How can a light skinned person look at a white person and know that that person is experiencing white fragility then turn around and exhibit the same symptoms seconds later when the subject of colorism comes up? 

But let me be clear. Crazy as light fragility seems to me,  these dark jealousies and light preferences aren't coming from defectiveness or magic.

The white beauty standard has been beating black and brown women over the head since we first set foot here in 17th century. And while black men may have been able to shrug off the light-house-negro and dark-field-hand identity, women are still judged by beauty and looks - not abilities. Even a presidential candidate like Hillary Clinton was judged by hair and her tendency to wear pantsuits.

I'm prissy, but I'm a feminist. I need my make-up, my hair-did, and my heels. And I love clothes. But all these things are icing, not the cake. The best part of me is my empathy and my brain which are connected to my abilities. And it's a fight to keep the beauty thing in its proper place--even for me.

A woman's worth has repeatedly been linked to beauty **ALWAYS** And for black women in the U.S. that means from the 17th century to now that we've been clobbered with the white beauty standard over and over and over. And while many of today's black women seem like they ARE aware that the white media beats into us the idea that white women are gorgeous ones at the top of the ladder - in stores, in magazines, in movies, and in huge all white ensemble casts like "Once Upon A Time" -- it seems like most black women think that they are "smart enough" to be immune. But we're not. We need more reinforcement and support than we're getting. We just do.

But back to the ladder...

If white women are at the top of the ladder or above the ladder, then light women are a rung or two above dark-skinned women. And light women with white features? They are 7 or 8 rungs above us all (dark-skinned, medium-skinned, light-skinned-with-black-features). From what I have observed? Light-women without white features may have fairly limited privilege (maybe intra-racial privilege only). But I don't know for sure.  Light women ain't talkin'. And on the rare occasion they do talk, they sure aren't talking about privilege differences between different flavors of light women when the subject of colorism rears its ugly head.

Actually, neither dark-skinned or light-skinned women want to talk about who echoes white beauty supremacy through our ranks. 

Collectively, black men may have left the resentments of the light-skinned, house-negro, massa-secret-son identity behind. And maybe that's because light-skinned black men readily admit privilege (or so I've heard). And maybe that's because they aren't as afraid of their privilege as light women are because light-skinned-beauty isn't as big a part of who they are. Men are judged by what they do in this society.  Light-skinned and dark-skinned men are not being told their worth is based on (their closeness to white) beauty constantly. However, black men from Booker T Washington to many or most male Civil Rights Heroes to Bill Cosby (and half (?)of the rich and famous black men) thoroughly believe in the white female beauty standard - if their choice of spouse/girlfriends can be believed. 

Forget the rich and black male famous, though.

How many dark-skinned girls have come home from high school crying over having been ignored? That movie "School Daze" by Spike Lee is and was real as far as college goes--even at the predominantly white colleges.  But some black girls that look black don't cry. Most don't, in fact. Strong black women don't cry. They simply get determined to do what they need to do -- get that hair relaxed, get that first long straight weave.

Dark girls are even treated less favorably by parents. Light girls in the same family as a dark girl can bask in the sun of their parents favor or suffer in the hatred of their siblings or both. Oprah Winfrey was the dark girl in her family as I recall (mother and sister lighter?) I think I sort of deduced her sister was a bask-er? Maybe? Either way, that family experience probably left a significant mark on O. Her path to success and failure might be evidence despite the money. But that's another discussion.

20 YEAR CAREER LEFT & COSBYs RIGHT

Still, the thing I wonder about the most about these non-conversations about colorism between black women is this:   

Why do the Kim Lute's of the world open their mouths about being light-skinned at all if they are not going to talk about how white people (male and female) fawn over their tanned-white-person looks in the workplace?

Why not talk about how bad they feel for the dark skinned sister they like to hang with when black men come tripping over themselves to get to them once they hit their teen years --especially if they have white-looks in addition to light-skin?

Why not talk about the source of the light-skinned benefits as being co-located with the source of the dark-skinned jealousy?  Because feminist or not, I know that the one thing that heterosexual women get heated and competitive about is men.

Speaking of my less than well-formed feminism, I resented the sexist tone of the Huff Post article.

The author of the original article  describes women in this stereotypical way, using words that imply petty, back biting etc.  Maybe that can't be avoided if you're talking about jealousy of dark-skinned women. Maybe. But I also tend to feel the Huff Post piece went off the rails into territory mostly unknown by light-skinned black women when the author said she mostly makes friends with white women because the jealousy of dark-skinned women is so thick. This is something I've never heard from a light-skinned woman. Then again, why would somebody who felt that way tell someone who looks like me?

The title of the piece "The Problem With Black Women") didn't do a thing for me either. It seems to me it deliberately made black women sound defective. Title can probably be said to be click bait-y and click-bate-y



So how about diving into the real description of real negative black female interactions instead of  rehashing the dumb stereotypes applied to all women? Why not talk about the avoidance and wrinkled noses like something stinks every time the subject of colorism comes up between light and dark women. There isn't any yelling and screaming. There's silence and walking away....and festering wounds.

And by the way? Black women of all shades get to say "OUCH!"  That's why I am not ashamed of the colorism conversation AT ALL. It's a white supremacy wound. And we get to get messy while we work it out

Light-skinned women get to say their  "OUCH"  when they are left out, ostracized, and assumed to have a superior attitude. Medium and dark-skinned women also get to say their version of "OUCH" when their beauty is erased by media, mothers, and would be beaus.

However, some or most light skinned women,
especially the white featured,do not get to say "OUCH"
without 
doing the same due diligence
in making the same earnest search
for unseen, unheard, and un-felt privilege
as some anti-racist white people to do
then telling the truth about that privilege


And if some reading this blog are thinking "OMG we're all black!" right now, then think about how similar that sounds to the "stop playing the race card" or "I'm colorblind!" uttered by so many white people when they are made uncomfortable by conversations on race. 

All of us have areas of privilege and oppression. My sources of oppression are my femaleness, my race, and my skin color. I feel, see, and hear these weekly if not daily. I am also middle class and Christian. These are my sources of privilege. My privileges feel like so much nothing to me most of the time. They are as imperceptible, normal, and unnoticeable as the air I breathe -- until or unless they are gone.
 
My oppressions don't excuse me from having to look for my privileges...just like being poor doesn't excuse the white person from looking at how they benefit from white privilege. And being black and suffering real racism doesn't excuse the light-skinned person from seeking out their light privilege either.

So light-skinned girls have the heavy lifting to do, in my opinion -- as far as healing our race of colorism. They have to get out and  hunt down their unfelt, unseen, unheard privilege. Dark-skinned girls have it easy in comparison. Our oppression is easy to see, at least as easy to see as the jealousy. But it might be harder to look at the real reasons for our collective addiction to long, straight, extensions and the creamy crack.

We have to be able to admit our weaknesses in order to work on healing them. When we are stronger for having done the work and suffered the discomfort, those who run or side step their unconscious participation in  colorism will seem pitiful to us --even if we find ourselves looking a mess while we figure ourselves out.

I've been reading a biography about a black woman born more than 100 years ago. I can't believe how much hasn't changed. The silence has been deafening in the name of solidarity since before and after the paper bag test. Colorism is a thing we have to deal with more honestly than we have been. Pretending all is peaceful and well, pretending like you don't see color isn't going e-race colorism  for black people any faster than white people pretending they don't see race is going to e-race racism.




LINK TO HUFFINGTON POST'S "THE PROBLEM WITH BLACK WOMEN" by Kim Lute

PSSSSSST! (Whispering: Other non-white women have the same problems. Asian women have tape to make their eyes look rounder or have surgery like talk show host Julie Chen. Asian women that make the cut for TV and movies are "white-er"    http://nypost.com/2013/09/12/julie-chen-had-plastic-surgery-to-fix-asian-eyes/

*I've been extremely fortunate in my choice of friends. Light-skinned women I've hung with were AWARE and did not let colorism play out at my expense in school or at the club, ever.


I wish there were more rungs on the ladder. Halle's supposed networth is 70 million. Phylicia and Raven's are supposedly 55 Million.Viola's is 3 million. Most of dark skinned women at the bottom don't belong on the ladder at all.  The Gugu Mbatha Raw and Lupita Nyongo are relative newcomers in yellow. Photos in red were the outliers. Angela Bassett was high on the ladder despite being relatively dark skinned 

ProLife? A Quote

BEVERLY BOND (BLACK GIRLS ROCK CREATOR) INTRODUCES HIP-HOP & FEMINISM PROJECT

"Black Girls Rock! Executive Producer and DJ Beverly Bond, hip-hop is more than just music, and women's voices in it are more relevant than their portion of the genre's platform might suggest.

That's why she's launching Rock! Like a Girl—a concert followed by a "think tank" conversation designed to tackle the unique boundaries that female artists encounter in the male-dominated industry, hip-hop's effects on how the next generation of girls develop a sense of identity and hip-hop's potential to frame feminist thought.

Scheduled to take place at Washington, D.C.'s Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts on Saturday, April 5, the concert will feature Lauryn Hill, MC Lyte, Jean Grae, Miri Ben-Ari and more. Confirmed panelists include Martha Diaz, MC Lyte, Rahiel Tesfamariam, Jean Grae, Imani Perry and Ana Tijoux.

We spoke to Bond about what's happened to marginalize women in hip-hop, and why she's hopeful about the future:

READ MORE:  http://www.theroot.com/articles/culture/2014/04/rock_like_a_girl_beverly_bond_introduces_new_hip_hop_and_feminism_project.html

SAY HER NAME: Poetess Aja Monet On POLICE BRUTALITY AGAINST BLACK WOMEN

from the Huffington Post

There is no mountain top worth seeing without us

-Aja Monet  

Miriam Carey, Yvette Smith, Natasha McKenna and  TaneshaAnderson 

Monet had written the poem -- a contribution to the #SayHerName campaign, a necessary continuation of the Black Lives Matter movement focusing on overlooked police violence against women -- earlier that morning. That evening, she’d read it at a vigil...practicing on camera, surprised by the power of her own words.

Sisters You Will Not Vanish

AT RISK: MARINA FRANKLIN

Comedian Marina Franklin

Maybe nobody tells about the ups and downs of their life story like a comedian. I couldn't take my eyes of this. I couldn't take my heart of this, not until she finished

This is a story about mental illness, divorce, pain, a step father allowed too much damn power, a biological father willing to fight, family friends, pain, luck, blessing, a special teacher, Marina finding her inner artist, and something much more than survival. Thriving. 

SANTA BARBARA OIL SPILL

Santa Barbara Area Oil Spill 2015, Refugio - Photo by John Wiley CC

I used to live near the Refugio (Reh- foo gee oh) State Beach. I went horseback riding in the hills above. The photographs of the oil-covered animals are breaking my heart. The Lucy Nicholson photo of an *oil covered pelican* flying until it won't be able fly, live, or breathe anymore. See that photo and more at this link:
http://www.newsweek.com/photos-animals-covered-crude-oil-turn-beaches-amid-california-oil-spill-334736


I'm reading that this oil company failed many tests over many years and did NOT have the auto-shut off it was supposed to have. As I recall the BP Spill in the gulf was the result of the same thing: Laws on the books NOT BEING enforced.


READ MORE AT GIZMODO http://gizmodo.com/santa-barbara-still-reeling-from-the-worst-oil-spill-in-1706608177

WHITE FRAGILITY, A definition

from
LOVE LIFE OF AN ASIAN GUY
& THE GOOD MEN PROJECT

FROM LOVE LIFE OF AN ASIAN GUY

LINK TO LOVE LIFE OF AN ASIAN GUY/Subject is race in the U.S.


I love it when sociologists come up with names for things that black people have been observing for many a moon, decades really.

"Challenges to this identity become highly stressful and even intolerable. The following are examples of the kinds of challenges that trigger racial stress for white people:

    Suggesting that a white person’s viewpoint comes from a racialized frame of reference (challenge to objectivity);

    People of color talking directly about their own racial perspectives (challenge to white taboos on talking openly about race);

    People of color choosing not to protect the racial feelings of white people in regards to race (challenge to white racial expectations and need/entitlement to racial comfort);

    People of color not being willing to tell their stories or answer questions about their racial experiences (challenge to the expectation that people of color will serve us);

    A fellow white not providing agreement with one’s racial perspective (challenge to white solidarity);

    Receiving feedback that one’s behavior had a racist impact (challenge to white racial innocence);

    Suggesting that group membership is significant (challenge to individualism);

    An acknowledgment that access is unequal between racial groups (challenge to meritocracy);

    Being presented with a person of color in a position of leadership (challenge to white authority);

    Being presented with information about other racial groups through, for example, movies in which people of color drive the action but are not in stereotypical roles, or multicultural education (challenge to white centrality).

Not often encountering these challenges, we withdraw, defend, cry, argue, minimize, ignore, and in other ways push back to regain our racial position and equilibrium. I term that push back white fragility.

  READ MORE at: http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/white-fragility-why-its-so-hard-to-talk-to-white-people-about-racism-twlm/#sthash.1Ps0EnXN.dpuf

CORNROWS FOR DUMMIES Because I Can't Be The Only One

I've given up on hair typing but I might be a nano-4A.

I know my hair is practically zero porosity. And I know what moisturized hair feels like as opposed to oily hair. I also know my hair adores light doses indirect heat under a hooded dryer - chills the curl out just enough



I can single braid my hair

I can Senegalese twist

I can twist-out

I can braid out

I can flat twist (somewhat)

I can flat iron my hair from time to time - after a difficult blow drying session.
But...but..but...

My name is Debbie. I am black. And I cannot cornrow.

I'm reading on the long hair care forum that this tutorial is idiot proof (see link below). Well...we're gonna see 'cause I can't do  can't do it. Not even a little bit. Never ever could. It's embarrassing. It's like somebody is going to come along and take away my subway pass into blackness. 

I can't be alone.  So click on the link below if you need to. I won't tell a soul.


CLICK HERE TO LEARN TO CORNROW YOUR OWN HAIR

A WOMAN OWNING HER SEXUALITY ISN'T BASED ON SUPPLY AND DEMAND

...BUT SEXUAL OBJECTIFICATION IS



"[H]ow do you raise a boy to respect women
if you can't get your husband, father, brothers
to respect women?
Seems like a circle without end.
But the thing I DO KNOW is
that we as women
are going to have to stand apart
from these backward men,
wherever they are,

....and wrangle our sisters back into line as well.

The demand for
cheap, easy and objectifying sexuality
(on stage like Lady Gaga etc)
is always going to be there.
We have to decide not to supply it.

We cannot mistake THAT for "sexual freedom."
                                                              -bell hooks

* * * * *

(link to bigger picture https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2s935wQhfdskvrhdpsgDbZ1gsTaF0CPi_idlzc2qeUmFaGk3Dme6SnwdA39AvZ3vnGo2SfzEfaH8Q1Q4HKZsu_0WxX0B0yUy9ooX2hyU71Sw9Im0odmz8WGlGmnWuMp3VihOfh3k-MRQ/s1600/Sexual+Freedom.JPG)
Sorry to be rude. But I've seen some younger feminists defend some behaviors that would have to climb 10 flights of stairs to rise to the level of stupid. Deciding that your desire to be mostly naked in public is synonymous with ownership of your sexuality is one of those behaviors.

Thank goodness, by the way,  it seems like two-thirds to three-quarters of black and brown feminists are not  going for this nonsense, regardless of age, no matter how often it's dished out. Some 1000 commenters on a black feminist page recently pushed back against this idea with a clearly articulated "NO!"  They made it clear that there were not "proud" of the Beyonce for "owning her sexuality"  by wearing *the naked dress* to the Met Gala earlier this month.

But there were also half as many who drank the coolish-aide and defended Bey

 

Dear Misguided Feminist,

Yes, it was bad when women had to be covered from head to toe like American Gothic Woman on the left - in order to be seen as good and worthy of respect. In the times reflected by *American Gothic Woman*  women's  sexually was as good as caged then put in an elevator that was sealed in cement then thrown into the ocean; Women did not own their sexuality in any way, shape, or form. But requiring people (not just women) be clothed in public isn't the enemy of all sexual freedom. Female nakedness  isn't synonymous with owning one's sexuality. If it was men would dress like the model below all the time.

 Male Model Owning His Sexuality
Fashion-ist-oh fashion with a strategic hole
shows a man's flaccid penis
(Paris Fashion Show link below)

The mostly-naked video vixen --who allows men to throw cash at her thong-bare ass then slide a credit card down her crack  is not someone to idolize. Believe it or not, the behavior displayed in Nelly's "Tip Drill" is not something to aspire to in the name of owning one's sexuality.

Rhianna's 2013 or 2014 even more naked dress --the same Rhianna, who has been banned from social media at least once for nakedness(Twitter?) -- may not be exactly the same as Credit Card Ass, who doesn't appear  to deserve a name. But I don't know that Be' and RhiRhi are any free-er than Credit Card Ass or any of the other sisters in the 'Tip Drill' video. (I refuse to provide a link)

The women in that music video were clearly high...high on the attention of men. And people who are addicted to anything, including getting men excited, are not free.


Regardless of what conclusion you come to about Beyonce and Rhianna suffering from the very same addiction as Credit Card Ass and the gang, there's one thing most feminists should be able to agree on:

If what a PERSON is wearing would get her or him arrested in 99 out of 100 grammar schools, that outfit is fit for private dinners, private shows,  and the bedroom, not the street or the stage.

That said, men being able to police women's clothing and behavior should be fought. We, as women, have a lot more freedom and choices about our appearance and our sexiness (or non-sexiness) and I'm glad. And as much as I hate the term "slut shaming" I do agree that slut shaming  should be fought. For so long as the Leonardo Di Caprios are rumored to be screwing 10 to 20 "models" a night sans any name calling --that isn't REALLY envy in disguise-- that battle is on!



However,

showing as much of your ass

as you can possibly get away with

has little or nothing to do with owning your sexuality

but tons to do with

being weak-minded enough

to believe you can't even feel alive

unless

you see desire

in the eyes of every man you meet.*


This is not sexual freedom, sexual ownership, or even sexual power. It never has been has been. It is an enslavement of the mind that is as old as humanity. The feeling of power that depends on the reaction of men is entirely from outside self. And something about Beyonce, Kim Kardashian, and Jennifer Lopez's behavior (Met Gala Naked Dress Competitors) that seems very familiar.

I mean, don't men who have to have a flashy car and lots of money to attract women seem shallow and powerless in very much the same way as naked-as-possible woman? Aren't they flip sides of the same coin?


Don't get me wrong. I'm glad feminists gave up trying to B-minus versions of men. The giant shoulder pads of the 1980s were symbolic of that attempt. And I'm glad today's female feminists have decided that there is power in the ways that women do things, in the ways that women approach things. Some of our ways are actually better. And part of seeking equality will be seeking to prove some of women's ways are better and bringing men into the light. But along the way we are going have to be a little more conscious and a lot more self-observant if we're going to look forward and understand that seeking a bad thing's opposite is not always good (American Gothic Woman vs. Credit Card Ass)

Skin and Image Bleaching Controversy Left
Black Face Coat Controversy Right
Romanticizing IKE BEATING TINA in a song, post-feminism claims, not shown

By the way, while intelligence isn't the end-all/be-all of everything good either, there's plenty of evidence to suggest that thinking isn't the strong suite of most actors, singers and whatever Kim K is. They probably shouldn't be looked to for anything except acting and singing -- and maybe their ability to move large numbers of people to support the cause of your choice. What they do or say probably has little or nothing to do with a grown, thinking woman owning her sexuality.

Besides, if a woman's career depends on that woman shaking her mostly naked butt for people who have paid $200 a ticket to see said butt, then where does the ownership of that sexuality lie?

That is, if Beyonce, Rhianna, and Gaga know that they dare not fail to supply the exact sexuality that the ticket holders expect and demand, then don't the ticket buyers own their sexuality? Don't managers and record companies dependent on the naked booty shaking own part of their sexuality too? Couldn't they be sued for turning into Joni Mitchell or Whitney all of a sudden, fully clothed for an entire two or three shows in a row?

I don't think Beyonce, Rhianna, and Gaga own a damn except their material possessions. But maybe that's just me.

Forget Beyonce
"Beyond The Lights" shows a better example of a woman coming to own her sexuality
Good for young teens I would think

NAKED DRESS COMPETITORS (I must admit. Beyonce wore it  or didn't-wear it the best)
http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/met-gala-2015-who-was-793472


PARIS FASHION WEEK MALE MODELS
http://www.forbes.com/sites/ceciliarodriguez/2015/01/23/full-frontal-nudity-hangs-out-at-paris-mens-fashion-week/

A QUOTE ON RACIAL RELATIONS IN THE U.S.

BLACK FEMIINISM, MORE THAN A DEFINITION

IN SOLIDARITY WE CANNOT COMPLETELY TRUST


White girls don’t call their men “brothers” and that made their struggle enviably simpler than mine. Racism and the will to survive it creates a sense of intra-racial loyalty that makes it impossible for black women to turn our backs on black men – even in their ugliest and most sexist of moments.

I needed a feminism that would allow us to continue loving ourselves and the brothers who hurt us without letting race loyalty buy us early tombstones. (Examples: Clarence Thomas,Chris Brown, and Bill Cosby Their indignant silences were all chosen over the words of black women. Sides were chosen against black women even over their own damning words and actions)



“Whatcha really wanna know is how I feel about brothas. It’s simple. I love black men like I love no other. And I’m not talking sex or aesthetics, I’m talking about loving y’all enough to be down for the drama —stomping anything that threatens your existence.

Now only a fool loves that hard without asking the same in return.

So yeah, I demand that black men fight sexism with the same passion they battle racism. I want you to annihilate anything that endangers sistas’ welfare —including violence against women —because my survival walks hand in hand with yours. So, my brotha, if loving y’all fiercely and wanting it back makes me a feminist then I’m a feminist. So be it.”
- Joan Morgan, "When The Chickenheads Come Home To Roost"
CONCLUSION: WE HAVE TO HAVE A WHOLE SELF BEFORE WE CAN BE JOINED TO ANOTHER.

Every adult woman should know this.

A knowing of self, reducing self-abnegation to comparable levels with your partner, and wholeness are ultra important when a woman decides to join with another person, a man, in marriage. And all of these things are equally important when a black feminist decides to join forces with black men in opposing a similar (but not the same) oppressions.

Disney's First AFRICAN PRINCESS Will Be WHITE

REBLOGGED FROM HARRIET
by Kesiena Boom



DISNEY'S NEXT PRINCESS FLICK will be "based on the true life story of Virginia man named Jeremiah Heaton, and his quest to fulfill a promise to his daughter, after she asked whether or not she would one day be a real princess.

Heaton did some research and found what he thought was the perfect solution: a stretch of disputed and unclaimed desert land named Bir Tawil situated between Egypt and Sudan. In June 2014, he decided to fly there, plant his flag (designed by his three children) and stake claim to a brand new 'country' that he named The Kingdom of North Sudan, thus making his daughter a 'princess.'

Yeah, you read that right. This film will center around a white American man taking his ass to Africa and essentially calling dibs on a piece of land. Does this story ring any bells? The Scramble for Africa, anyone..."

Read more about this unbeliev-a-bullsh**  from disney here:  http://www.forharriet.com/2015/05/on-disneys-princess-of-north-sudan-and.html#ixzz3ak7SuA9C

WHEN HER FATHER WAS ASKED ABOUT THE CONTROVERSY, HE CLAIMED COLORBLINDNESS.
(You're just shocked, right?) 
How is it that this self proclaimed white virtue of "colorblindness" always turns into an admission that says
"I don't give a rats @$$ about anything but me and mine?"
THE GIFT OF COLORBLIND RACISM IS THE BIGGEST THING HE'S GIVING THIS POOR CHILD.

FAKE DEEP by Cecil Emeke

"If I hear one more poem
written by a man telling women
how to live their lives
by policing their clothes,
bodies,
sexuality,
make up use,
reading habits,
exercise regimes
and cooking skills,

I’m going to slap somebody…

"MUJERISTA" - M U J E R I S T A (Mu-Herrr EEE stah) FILLS A NEED MUCH LIKE "WOMANIST"

IN SOLIDARITY WE CANNOT COMPLETELY TRUST


MUJERISTA: A DEFINITION

"To name oneself is one of the most powerful acts any human person can do. A name provides identification as well as being a conceptual framework, a point of reference, a mental construct used in thinking, understanding, and relating to persons, ideas, movements. Because of this Latina women living in the USA who are keenly aware of how sexism, ethnic prejudice and economic oppression subjugate them, use the term mujerista to refer to themselves and use mujerista theology to refer to the explanations of their faith and its role in their struggle for liberation.

A mujerista is someone who makes a preferential option for Latina women, for their struggle for liberation. Mujeristas struggle to liberate themselves not as individuals but as members of a Latino community. They work to build bridges among Latinas/os while denouncing sectarianism and divisionary tactics. Mujeristas understand that their task is to gather the hopes and expectations of the people about justice and peace. Mujeristas believe that in them, though not exclusively so, God chooses to once again lay claim to, to revindicate, the divine image and likeness made visible in Latinas. Mujeristas are called to gestate new women and new men--Latino people willing to work for the good of the people, knowing that such work requires the denunciation of all destructive sense of self-abnegation."

READ MORE: http://users.drew.edu/aisasidi/Definition1.htm



ON THE MUJERISTA MOVEMENT

    The name given to an enterprise, a social movement, a way of understanding reality, is very important. A name not only identifies but it influences how one thinks about and conceptualizes that to which it refers. This is why a group of Latinas who work in the field of religion and in the churches invented the word MUJERISTA and, together with other Latinas, we have been using it for the last ten years instead of using "Latina feminists."

Why?

    First, in our work with Latinas all around this country we have met with great resistance to the word "feminist." Even if this is mainly due to unjust propaganda, the fact is that many Latinas see the feminist movement as being anti-male, anti-family, and licentious. Second, many of the Latinas who have participated in the feminist movement have not found in it an analysis of reality that takes into account the ethnic/racial prejudice we suffer in the USA.

Repeatedly we have tried to make American feminist(s) understand that we do not suffer sexism apart from ethnic/racial prejudice but that these two types of prejudice reinforce each other to make societal attitudes and practices all the more oppressive for us Latinas. Third, no matter how much we have tried to influence the feminist movement they have not taken our Latina perspective seriously. This is why we have been little more than an appendage that is consider not valuable.

READ MORE:   http://users.drew.edu/aisasidi/essay.htm


CONCLUSION: WE HAVE TO HAVE A WHOLE SELF BEFORE WE CAN BE JOINED TO ANOTHER. Every adult woman should know this. A knowing of self, reducing self-abnegation to comparable levels with your partner, and wholeness are ultra important when a woman decides to join with another person, a man, in marriage. And all of these things are equally important when a latina feminista decides to join forces with white feminists in opposing a similar (but not the same) oppressions.

"WOMANISM IS TO FEMINISM as PURPLE IS TO LAVENDER" -Alice Walker

IN SOLIDARITY WE CANNOT COMPLETELY TRUST

WOMANISM, A DEFINITION

Womanism is a feminist term coined by Alice Walker.

It is a reaction to the realization that “feminism” does not encompass the perspectives Black women.

It is a feminism that is “stronger in color”, nearly identical to “Black Feminism”. However, Womanism does not need to be prefaced by the word “Black”, the word automatically concerns black women.

A Womanist is a woman who loves women and appreciates women’s culture and power as something that is incorporated into the world as a whole. Womanism addresses the racist and classist aspects of white feminism and actively opposes separatist ideologies. It includes the word “man”, recognizing that Black men are an integral part of Black women’s lives as their children, lovers, and family members.

Womanism accounts for the ways in which black women support and empower black men, and serves as a tool for understanding the Black woman’s relationship to men as different from the white woman’s. It seeks to acnowledge and praise the sexual power of Black women while recognizing a history of sexual violence.

This perspective is often used as a means for analyzing Black Women’s literature, as it marks the place where race, class, gender, and sexuality intersect. Womanism is unique because it does not necessarily imply any political position or value system other than the honoring of Black women’s strength and experiences. Because it recognizes that women are survivors in a world that is oppressive on multiple platforms, it seeks to celebrate the ways in which women negotiate these oppressions in their individual lives.

https://afeministtheorydictionary.wordpress.com/2007/07/17/womanism/
CONCLUSION: WE HAVE TO HAVE A WHOLE SELF BEFORE WE CAN BE JOINED TO ANOTHER. Every adult woman should know this. A knowing of self, reducing self-abnegation to comparable levels with your partner, and wholeness are ultra important when a woman decides to join with another person, a man, in marriage. And all of these things are equally important when a womanist decides to join forces with white feminists in opposing a similar (but not the same) oppressions.

DEAR MAN CAVE MEET SHE SHED

The Yoga Studio She Shed on the Left. My Favorite. 
I can imagine a few mats with friends stretching in the yard, then comes green tea in the red room.

For decades now, some of the more affluent families among us have had a man cave. The man cave was a place where men could relax and have manly decor and do manly things without interruption. Before they were called "man caves," with fun things like pool tables in them,  1950s television suggests that this man place was called "the study." 

And now you can buy a house with man cave and a she shed!  And the coolest thing about them is that they are outdoors. Forget the tool shed. Buy a house with a She Shed in the backyard.

Some sheds have a chaise for reading --while you communes with nature. Others have a writing desk (absolutely necessary for producing the next Great American Novel) where you can write --while you commune with nature. Others storage space for bolts of fabric, needles, and thread so that you can sew or get crafty--all while you commune with nature.

Some of them look very California weather friendly. But others look like heated mini-mansions that would stand up to east coast weather without a problem. 

I love them.




SEE MORE PHOTOS AT LIGHTER SIDE FOR REAL ESTATE

PANEL - BLACK WOMEN & THE WORK PLACE

7 MINUTES ON

     - BLACK WOMEN'S CHOICES & EXPERIENCES 

     - "WHEN PATRICIA ARQUETTE SAID 'WOMEN' SHE MEANT WHITE WOMEN." (Wage gap with White Women - White Women get paid 78 cents on the dollar as compared to men. And Black women get paid 64 cents on the dollar as compared to men.)

      - "YOU HAVE TO BE TWICE AS GOOD AS THEM TO GET HALF OF WHAT THEY HAVE" (most black folk have heard this since birth)



(The Nightly Show is on Comedy Central)



Christina Greer (Assistant Professor, Fordham University)

"We need to think about this historically...Let's just take FDR. He had to make concessions with White Southerner....He excluded black domestics....in order to make *The New Deal* happen... A lack of wealth was able to be built."



Jacque Reid (Co-Host New York Live)
   "We are dealing with the same issues tht a lot of black men deal with -with advancing in the work places. And then we're also dealing with  a lot of issues that women deal with - with advancing in the workplace...I had a white manager tell me she was afraid of me."



Issa Rae (Awkward Black Girl Creator/Actor)

    "If I was a white man, I would rule this world right now."


Marina Franklin (Comedian)
    "Talking"  (When Jacque Reid said she asked herself what she was doing to make this woman afraid, Marina answered, "Talking.")
 

   

MY EXPERIENCE:

I  too had a white female co-worker tell me she was afraid.  She was growling at me like she didn't have good sense daily because as a 19 or 20 year old receptionist I was passing HER calls to HER.

Early one morning, I tell her she has no right to yell at me in a calm, pretty much mechanical manner. But she and the other white woman that overheard were the ones that were "afraid."  My fear doesn't count of losing my job for DOING my job doesn't matter.

However, they were not so afraid that they didn't admit to me later, to my face that they were "afraid" I was friendly or work "friends" with both of these white women in a very small office. There were other black females to buffer things, so social gatherings were truly good and fun. But "white friendship" comes at a high cost on the front end, more often than not


There was part with Issa Rae where there was some over-talking. She said the good ole boy network is not necessarily a "racism thing" The white executives picking people they know...etc. SURE IT'S A RACISM THING. That's how the good ole boy network was established. 'We only talk to, consider, people who look like us, talk like us, look like us, enjoy hockey like us, look like us' -- That's an outcome and perpetuation of de facto racism at it's finest. CLICK HERE TO READ and HEAR MORE ABOUT "RACISM WITHOUT RACISTS"


SEE MORE OF THE NIGHTLY SHOW
http://www.cc.com/video-clips/k24f0l/the-nightly-show-tonightly---2-26-15

PANEL - BLACK WOMEN & DATING, THE NIGHTLY SHOW

3 or 4 MINUTE SEGMENT ON BLACK WOMEN'S CHOICES
(The Nightly Show is on Comedy Central)

Issa Rae (Awkward Black Girl Creator/Actor)

     On black men at college "They knew they were a catch.....We have options, so work for us. And that made it unappealing."


Jacque Reid (Co-Host New York Live)

     "Match dot com numbers [on which demographics are desirable as dates] are skewed"... A lot of black people don't go there..They are polling people that aren't necessarily showing up."


Marina Franklin (Comedian)
 
      On interracial dating "Just go young...you can raise them."



Christina Greer (Assistant Professor, Fordham University)
   "Everyone comes with some assembly required"  (Larry Wilmot jokingly called her "The envy of the table" as she is in a two PhD marriage with a black man)

See More:  http://on.cc.com/1wpnfRY

DIANE NASH: Black, Female, Civil Rights, LEADER

Assistant to Attorney General Robert F. Kennedy John Seigenthaler recalls a phone conversation with Nash where he tried to dissuade the Nashville Freedom Riders from going to Alabama, warning of the violence ahead.

Nash replied that the Riders had signed their last wills and testaments prior to departure. 

In his interview for Freedom Riders, Seigenthaler recalls, "She in a very quiet but strong way gave me a lecture."
-----------------------

In 1961, some months after having been jailed for requesting lunch at a segregated lunch counter as one of "The Rockville 9," Diane Nash kept the freedom rides going after one the buses was burned by the KKK...Nash argued that it was their duty to continue.

SNCC's Diane Nash played a crucial role in sustaining Freedom Rides initiated by the Congress of Racial Equality (CORE). From her base in Nashville, coordinated student efforts to continue the rides into Mississippi, recruited new riders, and served as a liaison between the press and the United States Department of Justice.


Nash played a key role in bringing Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. to Montgomery, AL on May 21 in support of the Riders. Tensions developed between King and SNCC members, including Nash, when King refused to participate in the Freedom Rides himself.

She herself was present for the violent siege on the First Baptist Church.

----------

In 2015 she refused to participate in honoring the 50 year anniversary of the Selma because George W. Bush was present, representing the exact opposite of all we believe in. Listen to her speak here on her decision in March of 2015 and what she thinks it is going to take for us to go forward.

READ MORE  http://mlk-kpp01.stanford.edu/index.php/encyclopedia/encyclopedia/enc_nash_diane_1938/


READ MORE: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nashville_sit-ins

READ MORE: http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/americanexperience/freedomriders/people/diane-nash

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DIANE NASH!

A PORTRAIT OF WHITE RACISM FROM 1968?

Sociologist Lawrence Bobo has said that one of things The Civil Rights Movement did was to teach white people what they are allowed to say about race Before this theory ever left Bobo's computer, most of us knew that many (if not most) white people focus only on how things sound when racial issues arise, especially if that racial issue is racism. And for a long time now, it's been apparent to me that what is allowed to be said aloud is the only thing many white people understand about race.

Personally, whenever I hear a white person going on and on about how "politically correct" we all have to be, I started wondering what piece of  the video attitude (racism) is being hidden.


The exclusive attention to how things sound is the reason why the 2015 white racial apologies go on and on and on about which words were chosen to express the racism... rather than apologize for the racism itself. 

SAE's Levi Pettit went on and on and on about using the n-word and never once apologized for his attitude and probably won't ever make an effort to change his attitude. The only thing he did wrong, according to his statement, is use the n-word in conjunction with the word "lynch" 

Deadline wrote an article about so many TV pilots starring black actors in 2015 could possibly be "too much of a good thing" And Deadline's white racial apology consisted of how that sounded too -- word arrangement was the problem again

Cosmo Online's? Yet another apology for how things sounded and appeared and "insensitivity" as opposed to how they were during the decision making stages

------------------

You won't get very far into this video before you are wondering how different 2015 United States really is from the 1968 United States. The title is "Portrait Of Black America" but white racism and white fears of black radicals and black separatists are at the center of every discussion.

One conclusion at end of this TV Special was that  few white people have racist attitudes --even after racism was defined as "superiority" minutes before the results of this 1968 national poll was shown

The entire video is interesting. But it is the seven or so minutes of white racist attitudes beginning at 5 minutes and 30 seconds is eerily familiar. 

If 49% of white people have had rather virulent strains of racism handed down not via DNA but via dinner conversation, stereotypes on television, and biased news reporting by the main stream media for decades on end and they think racism is mostly words, then how will the majority of white people come to realize that the extremist white cops that pop off and murder the black and unarmed are being nurtured at the center of their culture?

And since white America is so deep into words and how things sound in regards to all things racial, how is it white America doesn't realize that an increase in violent, separatist white rhetoric from groups like The Tea Party pours gas on the fire inside the bully-type policeman?

If white people don't recognize racism as an internal attitude that sometimes shows up externally, then the white cop murderers having black friends and still acting in racist ways will never make sense.  That is, any number of the white cop murderers may have black friends that they consider "a credit to their race" They may have one, two or ten of these "black friends." 

But these cop murderers also have the knowledge that the black people whom they do not know personally have less social value and therefore can be killed any time the mood to kick someone smaller arises.  And this describes a race based superiority a.k.a racism that leads to murder.

So the implied question from 1968 remains: How will white people clean up their side of the street if they aren't willing to change the racist aspect of white culture?

And in 2015, it seems like the question becomes how do you get the average white person to connect attitudes, words, and actions when racism is the subject, just like they do in every other aspect of life?  Isn't that the only way they are going to reduce the number of white racist cops being sent out from their midst?